February 12, 2012

The Shadow Room

This is a shoot by my sister Margaret Frances Morales who's a graduating Fine Arts student from University of the Philippines, Diliman. She's also running for magna cum laude this April so I'm a very proud ate :)

Anyway, this is a true story I wanted to share about my first encounter of  "pure" love or friendship or whatever you may call it. I think it's very apt for Valentine's Day and for the pictures above since whenever I recall this story, I'm almost always on my bed, eyes closed and almost hitting my self for not having the courage to express my feelings for many unexplained reasons.
 I'm in a happier relationship now but it's nice to remember these things once in a while.

There was a boy I really liked but never got to tell him. I met him when we were younger and were both engaged. I never thought about him much until I accidentally saw his bedroom. It was a cloudy afternoon and the air was stuffy. The hallway was short and his door was open. It was the kind of dormitory where anyone could walk right in, girls and boys alike. Curiously, I peered inside and saw books. There were books lying on top of a plastic shelf between two single beds. Books about philosophy and great men. I went inside not caring if anyone saw. The books were not dusty as I expected. The edges of the covers were still intact but the binds were almost falling off. As if the setting sun decided to linger a bit to wait for the clouds to disappear, orange light engulfed the room and I was able to see his collection in its entirety. Unknowingly, I have placed this boy in a box of biases. That day, as I glanced through light brown pages about men who have changed the world, I tore that box open and I saw him transformed.
We spent days babbling. A bit of chat here and there. Little did he know that as he spoke, I watched him closely, trying to catch a hint of sarcasm in his tone. Maybe I understood him more. His crudeness was a front. It amused me. There was a part of me who wanted to challenge his ideals but I kept silent as I was to play my part in his world, I knew my place. For four years I kept my silence, I had my affairs, he had his.  
One summer, we met again. We were different. He felt older and a bit weary. 
On a sweltering sunset in a room basked in orange light, words trickled off my tongue. I told him about that day I saw his books. I told him I have loved him. He was silent. He did not understand. 
I closed my eyes and giggled. He looked at me and grinned. 
We felt younger again.


  1. hi millie! super looove your blog, i've been backreading your posts for an hour already haha. you're super pretty, plus i love the content of your blog. more power!

    p.s. is there any way i could follow your blog thru google friend connect? :)


    1. Hello ChinChin!! thank you soo much for your comment and I'm sorry if I was only able to reply to your comment today. I'm not sure if you could follow thru google friend connect but maybe via email I guess? thanks again!! :))


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...