November 27, 2011

Break and Smile


After landing from my 15 something hour flight from London to Philippines, I immediately drove to Ayala to meet with some friends and jog with my officemate as promised. The next day, I had dinner with a friend which lasted hours, we also watched a movie and had a fantastic night. Next day, my officemates and I proceeded to my friend's lola's wake in Paranaque then went to BF for dinner. It was heartbreaking to see her grandmother that way. I wanted to go to my college batchmate's wake but I was too late. That broke my heart too. 
3AM, I couldn't sleep. Was able to talk to my ex boyfriend after two years without communication. We were finally able to talk as friends and have a proper closure. I did miss him to be honest. He was a good fellow that one, a bit confused but was ever so passionate. I may have lost a friend but I finally gained one back again. 
Finally, shopped with my parents a while ago. Told my mum I was broke so she'd pay for my gas, only to find her standing next to me at the counter while I purchased 3 shoes. (I'm sorry, I just found her reaction funny). Happiness in purchases, and then you think about the stress from work you've gone through to get those shoes. Tomorrow, it's back to work for me but will watch Ms. Earth competition after office at Acacia Hotel.  My dad and some friends have been asking about the pictures and some blog entries while Mark badly needed support and comfort the entire time I was away. I felt bad for Mark. He really needed/needs someone. I wish I had more time for him. I wish I gave more time to him.
 My room's a mess since I haven't unpacked properly and I need to clean it asap before the boy comes home from Sydney. I wish I could chop my body into several pieces right now so I could attend to everyone and everything. I haven't really absorbed everything, they seem so random, so muddled, hurried. Then I paused.

I stared at my laptop and thought that this is nothing serious. I'm just quite tired but am very happy.   
After hearing about so much death while I was gone, this feeling of exhaustion is every bit of welcome; this feeling that I'm moving forward, that I'm alive and that I'm blessed to see another day. The breaking and healing of the heart is a cycle we must not endure but welcome. The ironies presented in this month; people leaving and coming back, they are all part of my November, my year.
Christmas is coming. I pray everyone embraces December with happy faces. Smile, you may be tired but you are alive.

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