March 20, 2011

Never Take Friends For Granted

above: final reporting with my students. They were very happy after. haha.  With Mel, my jap classmate and driving buddy. Duzon friends.

With my college friend and super blockmate Nica in CBTL. With Patty, Lexie, Laine and Janine from Duzon and below, new found friends with Ine.
Whenever someone asks me out, I try to meet that person even with a busy schedule. I try to keep in touch thru Facebook, email, dates, meet ups and surprise visits at the office. I have learned through experience that we should never take friends for granted especially when we already have a special someone. It's very easy to forget the people who made you happy, comforted you and walked with you through thick and thin just because you thought you found the "love of your life". After a nasty break-up leaving you torn, you expect your "friends" to embrace you and uplift your spirits because that's what friends are for right? After months or years of not seeing them, you believe that the word "friendship" between you and those people still existed as if people don't change. Well, you're not entirely right. Some people do get tired of trying to reach out and some are heartless enough to turn their back on you just when you needed them as what you did during your "honeymoon phase". You were so engrossed with your love life that all you talked about were your problems with your partner or how he/she made you feel in and out of the bedroom. FYI, TMI.

Take this scenario for example: Enter a jealous lover who is so insecure that he/she told you to detach yourself from your friends because they're "bad" for you or because they're taking too much of your time or attention.  He or she will never admit that she's just insecure and jealous. You blindly followed to avoid conflict with any of the parties and your life now revolves around your "baby" and your plans for the future. Come reality, years, third parties or just life in general, you and your "hunnyapplepie" break up and you are suddenly left with no one. Of course you can't tell your mother that the reason you broke up is because your lover caught you having a threesome with 2 guys. Oh Lord no. You can't tell your dad that you broke up because he cheated with your cousin...and sister.. and mother.. Oh dear. Now you look for you and your lover's common friends who generally want to stay out so as not to hurt you guys, or if worse comes to worse, these frenemies will meddle too much to hurt you and start a war with Team EX. How mature right? Where are your allies? Where have they all gone?

"No one cares for me!"  "I'm alone!" "My life is over!"

Geez, of course you are alone. At least you've acknowledged it.  It's your fault for being too caught up, unreasonably submissive and irrational. That's the power of love, infatuation...or obsession. There's nothing wrong with being in love but make sure that your world does not revolve around your partner.To have a healthy relationship, you and your lover must still have separate social lives or being with each other tooooo much will drive you crazy. Too much familiarity sometimes causes disrespect among lovers while knowing every bit of each other's lives such as your last LBM may turn your partner off or bore you because as they say, "you've seen this movie before". Some people feel smothered by overly protective and domineering partners; lovers who tell you what to wear, how to act, who to see,  schedule your life and get jealous of strangers and start having fits. I've met a lot of these people, most of them are in the prisons where I work. Consider this a warning. You begin to lose not only your friends but also your identity. It's as if people know you as "the girlfriend of..." or worse "the slave of.."



 I've actually posted an FB status about this and so far 40+ people have liked it. I'm surprised a lot of my friends have experienced the wrath of jealous lovers or have been manipulated by one. Must trudge relationships carefully now, it's a small world. If you're patient enough to have read this whole post I'm very sure you know the scenario  I've mentioned or have unfortunately experienced it at some point of your lives. It's inevitable, these crazy lovers are very charming... at first. Not unless your first ever relationship or all your relationships are as perfect as Jesus then forgive me, I'm just human and I need to keep in touch with friends and reality.



Listening to : Dirty Laundry by Bitter Sweet
             <3: the band Bitter Sweet
             =( : craazy people

2 comments:

  1. I like this one Millie! I shall email this soon to my clingy-to-her-bf friend hehehe

    Cheers,
    Ramona

    ReplyDelete

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