June 02, 2018

The Truth Untold


I didn't realize what I was getting myself into when I met you.

You passed by to say hi. We were briefly introduced and I never thought of it. Recalling it now is a bit of a blur. What I do remember was our first official meeting in one of your office rooms. The AC was high, and I felt comfortably underdressed in my black shirt and jeans. I timed our talk. It was only supposed to be a 30-minute discussion, but we almost spent an hour and a half gossiping about that office bitch. Nothing builds camaraderie like a common enemy. 

Fast forward to a week or two, we started chatting, first, about official business, then it progressed to our love for this superhero, and his universe. It was unintentional. I was watching his TV series, and you had a car keychain of this character's logo. 

Then came a bad news that had you drinking in bed. My boss told me to call you to see if you were alright. You were shaken, I felt your loss, and fidgeted.

I looked at the screen, and my thumb as they pressed each letter.

Tara?

You drove a long way to see me.
We had another meeting the next day. Long table. Opposite sides.  I was glancing at you, and I caught you too. I was biting my lips so hard to contain a grin, I was conscious my lipstick would stain my teeth. You looked good in that black and grey checkered shirt I saw you in, that morning.

We then proceeded to a presentation a few blocks away from our office. Upon entering the vicinity, we chose a table with a laptop on, to eat dinner the hosts had prepared for us. Door opened and in came this guy who had been flirting with me during a shoot last Sunday. I liked him even before we started talking, but I forgot about him. He touched my back and kissed my cheek. Not your typical beso. He sat beside me because apparently, that table was his work space and it was his laptop in front of us. Pleasantries were made, you shook hands, and I felt my soul leaving my body. 

I excused us after eating. We told him we were getting something from the convenience store down the street. My legs were shaking as we walked down the stairs. I asked you to sit down with me. We huddled together on one of the steps. Slowly, I placed my head on your shoulder. We were bursting.



One fine day, a colleague of yours told me about how you were hitting on one of your subordinates. She didn't know anything about us, she was merely relaying it to me as gossip.

I asked you several times before if you were single or if you were dating anyone, because I wasn't. You said "no one." I should've specifically asked if you were flirting with your subordinate who happened to be your bestfriend's love interest. Maybe, then I would have gotten a more definite answer. Maybe.
I didn't realize how it has affected me until it did. We were never an item. We were nothing actually. But it hurt. It really did. 



Months passed by with a sinking feeling. Work never really improved, it just got more confusing. I stopped trying to date altogether. We never had anything for too long. Again, we never had anything at all. 

Reassessing now, you accidentally tipped something over; like a last stone that fell on a surface of a glass so full, a slight hush would've sent water trickling down the edges. 

It wasn't entirely your fault, but I guess, something in me finally unravelled after all these years. My spine finally broke, much like what happened to our superhero who started it all. 

I worked hard to earn my promotion. I had new friends, and a supportive family. Everything seemed to be going great, and my logical self was thankful for every single thing I didn't think I deserved, but received. I tried telling this to myself over and over and over in front of the mirror, in my head as I struggled to sleep, in the bathroom as I washed my face, in the lobby as I waited for my ride, or even when I looked at a picture of my family. 

But I just felt empty, and it would not register why. 

Have you ever loved someone for almost a decade and suddenly he disappears, as if he never existed? How about the death of your child?



But that's another story I wish I could tell in the future. Let's get back to you. 

You became a reminder of how hard I have struggled to do everything right; cleaned up the wounds, swabbed the right medicine, dressed the cuts gently, then violently stab the same spot again in one fell swoop. I wouldn't even give it time to scab. It's not all you, don't worry. They've been there for years.

So I quit. I gave up. I gave up on everything and everyone. I stopped moving forward. I was just really exhausted.

But a part of me still wanted you.

I created stories for you. I waited for you to see them. Your view was the only one that mattered. I rejected others because I wanted you. But I did nothing. I didn't say anything. I never contacted you because I knew this sounded crazy, and you wouldn't have believed me anyway. 



After several months, we saw each other again. I told you I missed you, and you scoffed. You thought I was lying, as if it were lip service. I looked at you, biting my lips so hard, conscious of my next words. I felt uncomfortably undressed. I timed our encounter. I was only supposed to be there for an hour. I excused myself. 

I just passed by to say hi.

One fine day, a friend of mine told me how you were now working closely with that office bitch. I couldn't fathom how you, of all people, could stomach servicing someone so repulsive. I guess it's back to business as usual. You had your reasons, and I had my conviction of dying rather than working with a corrupt person.

You stopped watching me, and I stopped making stories for you. It's been a year. I can finally write about it, which meant you are slowly fading from my mind, that I needed this as a reminder on how everything is delicately interconnected. The glass is still overflowing, but I'm trying to find a stronger lid altogether. 

I looked at the screen thinking of all the things I've gotten myself into. You didn't know this and maybe, it was all nothing to you. It's okay, I'm not mad at you, I actually don't know how to feel about everything anymore. But, this is the last time I am writing about you.


-------------------
I really like his name. 
This could be fiction.

x
Millie

Questions? Talk to me here: Millie's Ask.FM

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Listening to: The Truth Untold by BTS feat Steve Aoki English Cover by Ysabelle
Loving: 
Watching: Suits



January 02, 2018

Hurrah for 2017!

From the bright-eyed diligence, infatuation, to bittersweet goodbyes, 2017 swept and tossed us like the proverbial plastic bag. It's as if I've gone through a lifetime's worth of experiences, and surely, I wasn't the only one. Heck, I even went through a rollercoaster ride in the fandom I'm in. (a big hug to ARMYs around the world)

By the last quarter, I was left physically and mentally spent, which led me to literally stop everything I was doing. Everything came to a halt, and I embraced the stillness to a point where I have almost forgotten all these that I am grateful for. I didn't blog for a year, so this is gonna be a lot:

THE GOOD

1. Career Advancement - Within 3 years, I was able to climb the corporate ladder here in the Philippines after coming home from Sydney last 2014, all thanks to the people who believed and supported me. I have been mentored by the best leaders of the brands I handled, and I am forever indebted to them. With their guidance, I was able to take part in the creation of different campaigns, strategies and guidelines that would hopefully benefit the companies in the years to come. Kahit magamit lang nila ng 6 months, masaya na ako.

2. Minimalism and Financial Literacy - My dad provided me with a great deal of financial education last 2016, and I was happily able to apply it in 2017. Slowly, I was able to lead a minimalist lifestyle with my purchases cut down in half. I became more meticulous when it came to my finances, but still took risks. I ventured into a business and diversified my investments. (wow, adulting).

3. My Sister's Wedding - This is the first wedding in our family, and even in our generation in my dad's clan, so the celebration will be more or less a big family reunion. I was informed that a lot of the attendees are now trying to shed extra pounds for this event (push natin lahat yan). As the Maid-Of-Honor, I am tasked to assist the bride in everything. Now I see why people just go to Vegas. 

4. Rest and Recovery - As mentioned, I took the opportunity in the last quarter to assess, reflect and recover both physically and mentally. I started running and swimming almost everyday, I ate healthier and even stopped dating (which took like 54.36% of stress away from my life). I was also very selective of the people I meet, and spent more time with my loved ones. My sister is migrating to the US, so this is the perfect opportunity to be with my family as whole.

PLACES

I'm only including places with the happiest memories

From Left to right:

1. Baguio 
2. Penang (A beautiful, artsy island in Malaysia known for its UNESCO World Heritage Site )
3. Kuala Lumpur (2nd time in KL but 1st time to have my pic taken with the Petronas in the morning)
4. Singapore (4th time in SG but it was my first time to visit Gardens by the Bay. Go figure.)
5. Marcia Adams 
6. Sofitel 
7. Henry Hotel 
8. Taal Lake
9. UPLB 
10. Cebu (2nd time in Cebu but 1st time to go Canyoneering. What an imposing sight. A big thanks to Egan of nhagzventures.com for being our tour guide.)
11. Subic 
12. Acuaverde (1st time to take the whole family with all 3 of our dogs to the beach. This is one of my happiest memories of 2017.)



HAPPENINGS


From Left to right:
1. Pyro Musical Competition 2017
2. Wanderland Music and Arts Festival
3. I conducted 2 lectures in Lyceum of the Philippines University, thanks to my best friend Gail. 
    (I am passionate about teaching. I really want to pursue it as a profession.)
4. Digital conventions
5. An immensely interesting workshop/hobby I would like to undertake even further
6. Max's Bowls Film Shoot

my birthday celebration:

From Left to right:
1. I'M Hotel (spa and onsen)
2. Golden Sands Shangri-La, Penang
3-4. Surprise birthday cake from my sister in her condo in Malaysia
5. Surprise Birthday lunch with Max's officemates
6. Surprise bouquet from someone


Oo, puro gulatan noong birthday ko. Thanks, guuuyyyssseu.

CHANGES

From Left to right:
1. Farewell resignation gifts from my Globe Postpaid Team 
2. New Office
3. New condo with an awesome view
4. Healthier lifestyle
5. New family c/o my in-laws
6. Bedroom renovation in my parents' house 
(I'm just ecstatic on how it turned out. I donated and threw 75-80% of my belongings. Minimalist lifestyle all the way.)
7-9. All About Hair: Blue waterfalls hair---short blonde---Back to black

PEOPLE

BIG BIG THANKS TO:

my Globe teams: Postpaid, GOTs, Broadway, CMS and AdSpark
My girlfriends, esp Ralen, Pam, and Gail who have been there through everything, digital friends and special mention talaga si Jen, my very talented graphic artist for all my Globe projects, who shares my passion for art and music.

My friends from Max's and MGI teams/leaders, esp Gail, James, and Arianne for your patience, love and support. Thank you so much to Carat, Petch, JAW, Pabrika, Google and all our other agencies who made our campaigns possible. Events and ads galore. 
And of course, to my every loving and supportive families.
 to our Wedding crew hahaha
And to the strongest, bravest, most amazing human being I know, my Lola.

We may not have pics together, but I'm also wishing a blessed 2018 to the nurses, doctors, staff and friends in Makati Med and Asian Hospital. I will never forget your kindness. 

OH HAPPY THINGS

Josh introduced me to No Tomorrow and this show motivated me to create an APOCALIST. Thank you so much, Josh and Zane for checking up on me. May you two have the best years ahead. 
-
I also started a passion project on Instagram curating artworks.


BTS made me so happy last year. I've never been a huge fan of any band, but once you become a BTS ARMY, you CANNOT get out of it.

Quick facts:
1. They all came from provinces in Korea and started with a relatively small, and unknown agency. 
2. With minimal budget, they were able to become the #1 Korean boy group through savvy digital marketing, hard work and pure talent.
3. Current economic value: 1 TRILLION WON or 920 million USD.  
4. They write their own songs, about social issues such as prejudice, bullying and mental illness
5. They base some of their songs and aesthetic on classical art, music and literature, such as Herman Hesse's "Demian," D. Buxtehude's Passacaglia in D minor, a painting called "The Fall of the Rebel Angels" by Bruegel, Edith Piaf's "Non je ne regrette rien" for the song "House of Cards," and so on.
5. They've launched a campaign with UNICEF Korea called #LoveYourself
6. They have a strong fan base around the world with ages ranging from 13-50yo. They even have fans in Africa!
7. Anything they promote/advertise trends, gets sold out within minutes or increases in sales/market value.
8. America is currently all over them with diff celebs praising them. They were featured in Billboard Music Awards, performed in American Music Awards, Ellen, Jimmy Kimmel, James Cordon and Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve
9. They were in Forbes Korea’s Power Celebrity list of 2017
10. They were No.1 in 73 countries for "Love Yourself: Her" on iTunes charts following its release.

 They're hilarious, humble and the fandom is just too witty. No joke, I've developed smile lines from constant laughing at Twitter and YouTube's comment sections.  I'll stop now or this will turn into a BTS post. But, if you want to check them out, watch FireNot Today and Dope


So, to summarize 2017:

According to my Chinese Horoscope, 2018- Year of the Dog won't be too kind to us Dragons. 
K. Dasal dasal nalang. And if you've read this far, I'll be sharing this learning from my 2013 post which still applies this year: You cannot solve a problem from the same consciousness that created it. You must learn to see the world anew. 
Onwards then. 


x
Millie

Oh and here are my past Hurrahs. They're a bit different each year as they should be.


Questions? Talk to me here: Millie's Ask.FM

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January 01, 2017

Hurrah for 2016!


2016 was a good learning year for me. It felt a bit quiet, but it was a year where I have started to discover what I really wanted for my career, for my partner and for my growth. There is a bit of excitement entering 2017, all thanks to these:

THE GOOD
1. Still in the same company, I started my new role in Marketing last year. I was given a lot of freedom to manage the business, strategize and implement several campaigns. My knowledge has expanded from Digital Strategies to Market Research, Device Marketing, E-Commerce, UX/UI, and of course, Sales. I have learned from the best and most amazing people in the industry, both from my team, and our partners. Thank you so much, Postpaid, DPM, CMS, AdSpark, RTM and Huawei teams! I could not be more thankful for this opportunity. 

2. Being able to watch BTS and EXO live. I'm not a huge KPOP fan but I love BTS.

3. Closure. I knew I needed closure when I watched The Naked and Famous live at Wanderland. They sang a very familiar song, "No Way" which I used for a video compilation of my relationship with Mark back when we were younger. The song gave me goosebumps, I was sobbing by the end. Fast forward to October, by chance, we passed by each other at BGC, after a year of no communication. For an hour, in a restaurant I have often commented that smelled and felt like Sydney, I was finally able to have closure with him.  

4. A few weeks before, I was also able to 'confess' my feelings to this person. The events surrounding it were so surreal, but I felt relieved. That was a big thorn off my chest. 

5. Financial Literacy. For the first time, I attended a financial seminar conducted by my very own father, and it blew me away. It was one of those eureka moments, and now, I am literally throwing and getting rid of my liabilities, and am more determined than ever to invest, diversify and grow my finances. 2017 will be a year of minimalist lifestyle for me. 

6. My health condition has also improved. Thank God!


PLACES
Other than exploring Taiwan with my family, I have been living in BGC's concrete jungle for 2 years that I made sure my weekend getaways consisted of strolling in lush gardens and blue waters in both the South and the North.  2016 was also the year I realized that I love traveling, but found career and financial growth to be more rewarding. I have been traveling and living in different places since 2005, I guess, it was time for me to settle down. As for 2017, "wanderlusting" is not really a priority. 

CHANGES
 The only colors that were planned here were the gray and purple. After coloring my hair purple, it sort of took a life of its own, changing hues every time I wash. Now, my hair is of a gray-ish green color with a bit of purple and blue. I honestly don't know what to do with it next.

PEOPLE
These were happy memories, spent with people I treasure. As you can see, most of the "happenings" here are extremely Tita. LOL

L-R from the top
1. Assisted my sister's first art workshop
2.-3 Zet's wedding and a reunion with my BOIE friends
4. I'm a godmother (again) to Sonny and Jenn's cute baby, Icoy
5. It's always fun with Jerica and Pam
6. Missing Ralen so much. I'm glad we were able to bond even for a short time
7. 24? 25? years of friendship with Paolo and Kaytee
8. My UPLB zen dinners with She
9. Reflective lunches with Liz
10. Christmas party bonding with Educ and meeting a wonderful person named Justin
11.  Every moment with my bestfriend, Gail
12. Family bonding during my cute nephew, CJ's christening
13. Morales, Tejada, Orellana, Uy dinners are the best
14. Tasting the Guzman's awesome cooking in their restaurant
15. Lovely lunches and laughs with my Project One girlfriends
16. Late night laughter with Pam and COD boys earlier last year


And of course, my family, my dogs and Ate Sally's family, all of whom I love. Thank you for your unconditional love and support.

OH HAPPY THINGS
I highly recommend these, particularly, A Monster Calls.

Quite frankly, reading through my post, my 2016 seemed too "tame" from my previous Hurrahs, but it's not really the case. There were several misadventures, very interesting characters, side shows and whatnots, that I think only my close office friend knows, and that I prefer not to divulge on the Internet. haha!

As for 2017, my main goal is to take active steps to have a happier work-life balance and relationships, healthier body and wallet. I will limit my purchases, lead a minimalist lifestyle, manage both my career and finances as a top priority. More importantly, I want to put my faith above everything. It's all about what matters inside than what people see outside. 

x
Millie

Oh and here are my past Hurrahs. They're a bit different each year as they should be.



Questions? Talk to me here: Millie's Ask.FM

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June 05, 2016

Nlighten Korean Products Review


 When I was asked to do a product review for my blog, I hesitated a bit due to my busy schedule. But when I heard these were premium Korean products, I knew I had to try them. Nlighten is a Korean brand distributed by NWorld and was launched around August, 2015.

 Koreans are known for creating amazing, quality beauty products, hence, when I was informed that I would be receiving 4 products, it made me feel like Christmas. I tested all 4 items for a week. For the face: Nlighten Cloud Cream, Nlighten O2 Bubble Cleanser and Nlighten CC Cushion. For the body, it's Nlighten Body Cream. 

Some notes to know before proceeding: 
I have acidic skin
 I used them for 7 days in a tropical country with high levels of humidity
I used MAC NC30 pressed powder on top of the CC Cushion
I stopped using my other beauty products for a week to give way to these items
After the O2 Bubble Cleanser, I used L'Oreal facial wash out of habit
Before I used all products, we had a swimming excursion in Los Banos Laguna so I was bit darker
This is going to be a short, quick review of each product

With that out of the way, here are my findings, hope this helps :)

1. Nlighten Cloud Cream
 Cream Claims 
Net wt. 30g
P 1,450

πŸ”…Provides an instant whitening effect
πŸ”…Helps achieve a more healthy and glowing skin 
    πŸ”… Helps maintain an even skin tone 
    πŸ”… Helps diminishes dark spots 
    πŸ”… Helps limit the over-production of melanin 
    πŸ”… Helps reduce the signs of ageing 
    πŸ”… Helps protect the skin from UVA & UVB rays (Sun Block - spf 20) 
    πŸ”… Helps dry pimples 
    πŸ”… No make up look 
    πŸ”… Helps achieve a pinkish white glow

    How to use Cloud Cream:
    ✔Open the jar
    ✔Remove plastic cover (don't throw the cover)
    ✔Use the spoon to mix the cream
    ✔Then use the spoon again and apply a small amount on your T-zone, cheeks, and chin
    ✔Spread the cream through a circular motion on your skin until full coverage

      Pros:
        ✔Packaging is really good. Sturdy and sleek.
✔Easy to apply
✔Really soft and a few swabs go a long way


Cons:
XGave me dry patches on my face
XA bit sticky and itchy
XNot for sensitive skin


    2. Nlighten Body Cream
 πŸ‹Body Cream Claims 
Net wt. 100g 
P 1,350 
πŸ”… Non-sticky lightening cream 
πŸ”… Present brightening effect 
πŸ”… Enriched with natural ingredients of various essential vitamins 
πŸ”… Helps nourish the skin and enhance the skin's natural protective barrier leaving the skin nourished 
πŸ”… It also helps protect the skin from UVA & UVB rays 
πŸ”… Good for all skin types

How to use Body Cream:
✔Spread a right amount on your body
✔Gently massage
✔For best result use daily.

Pros: 
✔Packaging is really good. Sturdy and sleek.
✔Easy to apply
✔Really soft to touch
✔Results are slightly seen within a week
✔Smells good

Cons: 
XNone
  •  Cream on my sister's hand. My sister is a bit darker than me.
    Left: with the cream, Right: without. You can see a very slight difference in color. I'm not sure whether the it has some BB cream in it or reflectors, but once you apply the product, it instantly brightens the skin.

3. Nlighten O2 Bubble Cleanser
πŸ“O2 Bubble Cleanser Claims
Net wt. 70ml
P1,350
πŸ”… Helps hydrate & rejuvenate the skin
πŸ”… Contains outstanding Oxygen Therapy and various essentials which help relieve the skin from dead skin cells, sebum and impurities
πŸ”… Good for all skin types 

How To Use Nlighten O2 Bubble :
✔2-4 Pumps
✔apply it your dry face
✔leave it for 1 minute and enjoy while enjoying the formulation of oxygen bubbles
✔massage your gently while removing the bubbles
✔rinse off with lukewarm water.

Pros:
✔Packaging is really good. Sturdy and sleek. Having a pump is usually good.
✔Easy to apply
✔Probably my fave
✔You can really feel the bubbles forming on your face
✔Smells good
✔Thoroughly cleanses

Cons:
XNone


4. Nlighten CC Cushion
Cushion Claims 
Net wt. 15g
P1,640
πŸ”… Color Control Cushion
πŸ”… Is a revolutionary air cushion technology
πŸ”… Helps achieve a flawless coverage
πŸ”… Helps lighten the skin
πŸ”… Helps prevent the signs of ageing and serve as sun protection against harmful UVA and UVB rays through its broad spectrum SPF 50+ /PA +++. 

πŸ”… Helps obtain a nourished skin with its superior anti-oxidant and hydration contents and ensures a luminous finish by filling the micro lines efficiently
πŸ”… For all skin types





How To Use CC Cushion:
✔Apply by pressing the puff into an "essenced" sponge 

✔gently pat it onto your face
✔For touch ups, re-apply as desired

Pros:
✔Packaging is sturdy and sleek.
✔Easy to apply
✔Smells good
✔Looks good after setting
✔Coverage is light to medium but was able to cover a lot of my blemishes
✔Brightens dull skin



Cons:
XPackaging is a bit bulky for my make-up kit
XThe color in sponge doesn't match the actual product
XToo white for my skin 
XCan be a bit sticky on my acidic skin



Left side: with CC cushion, 
Right: bare face. White cast galore. 
Left side: with CC cushion
 Right: bare face but both with MAC NC30 pressed powder. 
As you can see, adding a bit of pressed powder evens the CC cushion a bit. 
Full face with CC cushion + MAC NC30 pressed powder taken after 30 mins when the products have settled a bit. 
There's still a bit of white cast, but it's not as harsh as the first application. 
x

Overall: The items are a bit pricier than your average Korean beauty products, but the packaging and quality make up for it. Would I purchase them in the future? Maybe the Body Cream and the O2 Bubble Cleanser. I'm very particular when it comes to make-up so the CC Cushion isn't for me. Maybe if they have a bigger range of shades that could accommodate darker, Filipina skin? All in all, these are good products and if you're an adventurous shopper with cash to spare, you should definitely try them.

To know more about Nlighten, you can visit their website: 
www.thealphanetworld.com
https://www.facebook.com/nworldbyfayenchon

or contact Chon and Faye to order:
Chon - 0943 551 1188
Faye - 0943 551 1184



Questions? Talk to me here: Millie's Ask.FM

x
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Listening to: BTS
Loving:  my puppies
Watching: Penny Dreadful Season 3

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